Mary Maile Online

My new movie: SOMETHING BLUE

2008-08-27T23:54:00.002-05:00

SOMETHING BLUE is an independent feature length film by award-winning producer/director/writer Sean Gannon. He is originally from Bondurant, IA and the entire film was set in Iowa with Iowa connected actors.

My part is "bit," but my fortune was good, nay huge! (although it really could have gone either way).

Producers were slow to call me back and since I knew people who had been definitely turned down and definitely accepted, I took the bull by the horns and called them. Mostly I was disappointed since the audition had gone so well and I didn't peg them to be the type that would just leave me hanging. Producer (and IPTV personality) Pat Boddy said they wanted to work with me but I didn't quite fit any of the parts as written and that's what was taking so long. Further strangling the aforementioned bull and his horns, I let them know what I was thinking -- what's a wedding without a wedding singer? Shockingly, they accepted my suggestion and wrote me in!

The result: I got to improvise three different versions of the scene with Boddy at the harp. One of them featured my favorite version and 20-year standby for weddings "The Wedding Song: There is Love." That version languishes somewhere on the fabled cutting room floor since it would mean fees which the production could not absorb, but you can see the improvised "free" version.

Here is my one scene ("Musician Audition"). The entire movie is there, too, broken into individual scenes at www.youtube.com/SeanOfTheWed. Keep in mind, I am supposed to be bad and overblown. And I did warn the sound guy I was going to be loud on purpose.....I guess you can never be quite prepared for me!

Please feel free to leave a comment and/or tell your friends!

For another version of what we improvised, see the movie trailer at www.somethingbluefilm.com. Both are "solid laugh getters" according to director Gannon.

Translation: His mom sure liked it.

Although it was filmed over two weeks in 2006, the finished film's debut is not set to premiere until Spring 09. The most recent of the multiple delays was due to storms affecting the Gannon family home (shown in the film as the groom's home). As I understand it, this film will otherwise go right into contest mode slash DVD but we do plan to hold a premiere in this Spring at the art house favorite Fleur Cinema.

I'll be helping with publicity. Any ideas or tips? Let me know!

Musician Audition scene

Something Blue movie trailer

ONLINE CLIPS FOR MARY CATLETT

2008-03-27T06:00:00.000-05:00

Welcome!
Thank you for checking out my blog Mary Maile Online at
http://marymaileonline.blogspot.com. Feel free to look around here -- especially at the link to the right for "Truck Driver Gets Send Off Fit for King of the Road" -- or do a search of the archives at www.newsrepublican.com.

Here are my online clips:

BEST PERSONALITY FEATURE STORY
Weeklies Class 1: First Place - Woodward NE Dallas Co. Record. (Wilkinson story, image at right)
http://snipurl.com/PersonalityFeatureC1

BEST FEATURE PAGE
Weeklies Class 1: First Place - Woodward NE Dallas Co. Record. (Garage
sales in Grimes, layout image at right)
http://snipurl.com/FeaturePageC1

MASTER COLUMNIST
Weeklies Class 1: Third Place - Woodward NE Dallas Co. Record.
Sample: Meet our new reporter article
http://snipurl.com/RememberMary

70 Valentines and still counting
http://snipurl.com/ValentineWagners

Tallgrass Theatre of Dallas Center
http://snipurl.com/TallgrassTh

R.I.P. Merv Griffin

2007-08-14T00:45:00.000-05:00

He started as a singer known for the novelty song "I've Got A Lovely Bunch of Cocoanuts." He tried on the role of leading man but eventually drifted into a 20 year career as a talk show host, writer of the Jeopardy theme "Think," and multi million deals designed to improve his various interests like realty.

He estimated that he had done 25,000 interviews.

For me, Merv Griffin was a familiar face to come home to. For a kid in central Iowa, this was the closest I got to seeing a very interesting conversational style, with a wide range of guests.

A child of the 70s, I remember stand up comics of all stripes -- always vital to my TV watching/talk show loving habits -- but mostly Totie Fields and Orson Welles and his magic, as well as maybe a plate spinner or two and Howie Mandel telling his wait-for-it "It's My potty" joke. I hurried home to see this show circa 1976 through '79 and even multi tasked as I sorted mom's kitchen shelves and watched from the next room.

Yeah. I was a weird kid.

Moreover, Merv made me a winner because I watched his show and heard instrumentalist Herbie Mann tout his newest album Super Mann. The next night I identified the same piece being played and won a whole party for my sixth grade class at a skating rink.

Merv made me a hero.

His style must have rubbed off on me.

And I have to say one his best features was his public battle with his weight. He talked about it, dealt with it and still lived for a long time at a higher weight than he might have liked, but never rejected himself before, during or after.

For some reason, I like that!

See the master in a clip (that's not Charo)....

This essay is rushed, but "Thanks, Merv."

He weighed 235 pounds. Shortly afterward, singer Joan Edwards told him: "Your voice is terrific, but the blubber has got to go." Griffin slimmed down, and he spent the rest of his life adding and taking off weight.

Am I getting old?

2007-08-05T22:06:00.000-05:00

Lisa told me Hairspray and I immediately thought stage production
(versus original movie vs. Ricki Lake movie vs. newest movie)

Colleen told me she had a new sidekick and I said, "Oh is this a new
co=worker, someone who looks up to you... a 'mini-me'?"

And the girls in office love the Spice Girls. So when I recently heard a
reference to Old Spice it took me ten minutes of trying to remember
which girl that was...........

Gil-less Girls?

2007-08-01T17:42:00.000-05:00

Are you a fan of the "Gilmore Girls?"

See what original creator Amy Sherman-Palladino, who was not there for the final season, said HER ending would have been.

BOO HISS
not funny

Johnny Carson quotes from obituary 2005

2007-07-30T22:52:00.000-05:00

Asked how he became a star, Mr. Carson once replied, "I started in a gaseous state and then I cooled."

Pressed further to analyze his own success, he said he worked hard on his own timing. "I have an affinity for editing and pacing," he said....

Someone once asked Mr. Carson what he would like his epitaph to be.

He thought for a moment and reached for the traditional line of a talk-show host:

"I'll be right back."

SOURCE:
Johnny Carson, Low-Key King of Late-Night TV, Dies at 79
By RICHARD SEVERO
and BILL CARTER
Published: January 23, 2005

A wild and crazy....book

2007-07-30T22:27:00.000-05:00

Steve Martin.com sez:

"In early December, my memoir of doing stand up will be published, “Born Standing Up.” Writing it was an absorbing enterprise lasting two years. I’m sorry I’m no longer working on it. And that’s what’s up with me." May 22, 2007

He also recently married a staff writer for the New Yorker, where he contributes humor.

Here's his classic tribute to Johnny Carson from the New York Times.

It ain't over 'til the anorexic felon sings...

2007-07-30T22:23:00.000-05:00

According to People.com and show business "Bible" Variety, "the Simple Life is over for Paris Hilton, but she has already lined up a juicy new role in the big-screen musical Repo! The Genetic Opera.

Hilton is joining Alexa Vega and Paul Sorvino in the cast of Repo!, a musical thriller..."

Egad.

Say it with me. The end of the world is near.....

And you think you're having a bad day....updated

2007-07-27T22:48:00.000-05:00

My favorite is the elephant...

In order, from not-as-bad to downright terrible, the worst jobs in science as ranked by Popular Science magazine:

• Whale-feces researcher: The feces part just smells bad.

• Forensic entomologist: Studying bugs on corpses combines two unpleasant things.

• Olympic drug tester: Watching athletes urinate into cups and testing samples thousands of times during the Games can't be fun.

• Gravity research subject: Stays in bed for three weeks and lets muscles atrophy.

• Microsoft security worker: Deals with every Microsoft user's problems.

• Preserved-animal preparer: Bottles frogs, cats and pigs for biology students.

• Garbologist: Sifts through garbage, literally, to analyze consumption patterns and how quickly waste breaks down.

• Elephant vasectomist: Elephants are big, and so are their testicles.

• Oceanographer: Pollution, overfishing and coral reef destruction mean the oceans keep getting worse.

• Hazardous-materials diver: Swimming in sewage is a dirty task.

read more at
http://www.usatoday.com/tech/science/2007-06-10-popular-science_N.htm
==========
From Ames police reports:

July 26, 2007: City workers were held at bay by what appeared to be a rabid woodchuck at South 16th Street and Apple Place.

The woodchuck, according to police reports, would not let the workers get back into their trucks near the BMX Bike Park.

The woodchuck reportedly fled the scene, and police were unable to locate it.

Wicked Trailer

2007-07-16T00:32:00.000-05:00

The newest newsletter for the composer is out.
Visit this trailer for the tour of "Wicked."
http://www.universalpictures.com/asx/wicked/wicked/wicked_generic_trailer_128k_wmv.asx

LISA'S BROADWAY ALERT: XANADU COMES TO B'WAY

2007-07-12T00:34:00.000-05:00

I've been holding this since January....but no more.

Another Olivia Newton-John movie is being adapted to the boards as Xanadu prepares to hit the Great White Way at the Helen Hayes, according to the New York Post.

Just say it.

"I'm Alive!"

"This is 1980, the muses are in retreat," exclaims Tony Roberts as
Zeus. "Creativity shall remain stymied for decades. They'll just take
some old stinkeroo movie or some songwriter's catalog, throw it on a
stage and call it a show."

This sounds great to me. I've loved this music for years.

I don't think I even had access to the movie but somehow got the soundtrack (album -- and somewhere I have a beat up cassette). I don't recall what sent me running for it -- perhaps it was the title song "Xanadu" or the chart topper "(we have to believe we are) Magic."

But what's not to love? Olivia Newton-John's breathy vocal qualities, which started out in Australia and segued to the American country charts with songs like "Please Mister Please (don't play B-17, it was his song, it was our song, but it's over" and the remake of "Please Mr. Postman" were popular but for more me it had to be the song that was heard loudly from our swingset as I taught the neighborhood kids to cry to the skies: "Have You Never Been Mellow?"
I certainly didn't know what mellow meant then and probably no one knows now, but the important thing is this album was post-Grease, she was clearly the focus (not shared with fellow break out Travolta) and it was one more blast before she went the way of her alter ego Sandy.

You know what I'm talking about. When she lead the way for Madonna and future trampy transformations (paging Christina Aguillera's "Dirrty") when Olivia, Newton, and John made
it a threesome and tarted up irrevocably with "Physical."

There is a thrilling quality to her plea "keep me Suspended in Time with you, don't let this moment end...I've got a feeling when I'm with you none of the rules apply...." ON-J has a way of bending a phrase and a note just this side of a more melodic yodel -- and the technique is
echoed in E.L.O.'s grand style.

In the meantime, there were so many excellent musical moments in this production. America discovered Cliff Richard with "Suddenly," found a way to slightly honor the admittedly weak sounding, but nonetheless dapper Gene Kelly with the delightful "Whenever You're Away From Me (wherever you go, you're never far away from me, I want you to know, I only have to close my eyes, dear, and suddenly I'm where you are, you better never stray, 'cuz I'll never be far away).

And sure, there's E.L.O. but I was always much more in debt to Fee Waybill of The Tubes. Talk about contrapuntal on "Whenever You're...." (woman I gotta let you know, I won't take a back seat...)

So can it be any wonder people love this "All Over The World?" Ha!

Let me just say it.

"Xanadu your neon light still shines!"

1. Magic - Olivia Newton-John
2. Suddenly - Olivia Newton-John
3. Dancin' - Olivia Newton-John
4. Suspended In Time - Olivia Newton-John
5. Whenever You're Away From Me - Olivia Newton-John
6. I'm Alive - Electric Light Orchestra
7. The Fall - Electric Light Orchestra
8. Don't Walk Away - Electric Light Orchestra
9. All Over The World - Electric Light Orchestra
10. Xanadu - Olivia Newton-John/Electric Light Orchestra
===

Keep it light, campy and fun (and invite Fee Waybill of the Tubes to reprise his music).

Let's hope they keep the classic ('cuz I'd love the sheet music) --

Whenever I'm away from you
Wherever I go
I'm never far away from you
I want you to know
I only have to close my eyes, dear
and suddenly I'm where you are
You better never stray
'cuz I'll never be far away.....

XANADU on Broadway

R.I.P. Charles Nelson Reilly

2007-05-28T12:12:00.000-05:00

R.I.P. Charles Nelson Reilly

Cutting remarks

2007-05-08T19:16:00.001-05:00

O.J. Simpson was asked to leave a steak joint the night before the Kentucky Derby. Obviously the restaurant owners wasn't impressed when he brought his own knife.

SOMETHING BLUE trailer now online

2007-04-30T00:32:00.000-05:00

SPREAD THE WORD: The movie trailer is now available for download at
SOMETHING BLUE
with Mary Catlett as the Wedding Singer
Keep in mind, I'm supposed to be bad!

http://www.somethingbluefilm.com/
Stay tuned for more info. Tentatively, I am hearing a premiere in Des Moines at the Fleur Cinema, then on to film festivals/contests and DVD.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
READ MORE

Alum creates video drama 'Something Blue' 4/23/07
Sean Gannon (AS '91) just finished making a video drama filmed right here in Iowa. "I was the director, executive producer, writer, cinematographer and editor for the film," Gannon said. Gannon, originally from Bondurant, Iowa, grew up on a farm and graduated from Drake with a major in theater and a minor in radio/TV....

Drake connections

Big dreams, big lights, small town 3/2/07
Buena Vista University features graduate Scott Murphy who plays "Edward"

American Idol: Resurrection of Elvis

2007-04-25T20:53:00.000-05:00

4/25/07 Anyone watching "American Idol" who belongs to their target demographic must have been a little confused at seeing "the new guy."

I know they hyped this incredible "duet" without hinting at who it would be. I was hoping for a Streisand/Manilow pairing but figured that was unlikely, so I know I was surprised.

And he looked good. 3-D even!

I don't know how they did it but it looked great and I hope there are at least a few suitably confused and on the hunt for the next album by the hot new singer in white who was crooning alongside Celine Dion tonight.

For now I'll just turn up the Vegas opening theme song when he sings another resurrected number "A Little Less Conversation" by Mac Davis....I gotta get some of his music in my life again!

Stephen King on Va Tech murders: Dude was crazy...

2007-04-22T21:13:00.000-05:00

Novelist and horrormeister Stephen King shared his thoughts of the Virginia Tech murders and the links between the creative process and violence with Entertainment Weekly (where he is also contributing editor)

"I've thought about it, of course. Certainly in this sensitized day and age, my own college writing — including a short story called "Cain Rose Up" and the novel RAGE — would have raised red flags, and I'm certain someone would have tabbed me as mentally ill because of them, even though I interacted in class, never took pictures of girls' legs with my cell phone (in 1970, WHAT cell phones?), and never signed my work with a ?.

...For most creative people, the imagination serves as an excretory channel for violence: We visualize what we will never actually do (James Patterson, for instance, a nice man who has all too often worked the street that my old friend George used to work). Cho doesn't strike me as in the least creative, however. Dude was crazy...."

Beware: Beer

2007-04-22T21:10:00.000-05:00

According to this source there is a dangerous new date rape drug called....

....beer

That's right.

There's another new date rape drug called....

...."please."

Understanding the caregiver's mindset

2007-04-22T15:08:00.000-05:00

This is one of the best articles I've read in a long time.
The author intimately understands the caregiver, the caregiver's experience, and explains what it is like.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: I am a recovering caregiver and I can't believe there are those who dealt with it before me and have been dealing with it since I was able to escape. So many have suffered so much more, and yet I know what a number it did on me for just a finite time. Of course, when you are inside and dealing with it all, you don't know how long it will last. I still measure my life as before, during and after the caregiving, and can minutely detail the experiences of Year One and Year Two/first six months, Year Two/final six months....and have I told you about when he was, as I call it, "actively dying."

And yes, in some ways, as suddenly as it all began...
it all ends.

I'm Fine, Thanks
by Pat D’Andria

RICHARD JENI: In Memory

2007-03-18T21:22:00.000-05:00

HE HAD A GOOD BIT: RICHARD JENI updated 3/18/07

Thoughts on the recent suicide of comedian Richard Jeni. The family has issued a statement indicating it was suicide brought on by recently diagnosed "severe clinical depression coupled with bouts of psychotic paranoia."

Remember him with laughter. That was the true Richard Jeni. Surely he just got waylaid by the confusion brought on by clinical depression and what must have been extreme paranoia. I say extreme because for him to think his life wasn't worth living was clearly cloudy thinking.

That was certainly not the man I had long admired.

I first met him when he came and spoke to Len's "class" in stand-up comedy circa 1990-1991 in Chicago. We knew his reputation and were beyond excited to meet a such a talented professional. The build-up was so strong we even fell for the bad acting when we were told, "Oh, he couldn't make it, afterall. Wait -- here he is!"

He came a second time to speak to a larger group and fell prey to a set up that made him believe his friend had been actively taking credit for the "McDonald's bit" (special sauce? I'll show you special sauce). He was had -- for a minute -- but then got the joke right away. There was no indignant tone, no slip up of a haughty man, no diva acts, no harsh response. Just laughter. Honest laughter.

Too soon, they both returned to the hotel. I turned to my friend. "You know, I don't want to be here. I want to be in that hotel room with the guys."

Okay, I know sounds bad, but it came from my heart. I knew they were having fun and it wasn't easy to find that kind of comic rapport -- something I had come to Chicago to find, afterall. I wanted to laugh, and if that was where the action was, then that was where I wanted to be.

Oh. And I was naive. Still am.

I saw Jeni perform live many times at the Funny Firm and knew him only as someone to be admired and talented. I'm trying not to throw around the "genius" title, but surely he and Bill Hicks both ably demonstrated one of the best pieces of advice T. Sean Shannon ever gave: "If you've got a good bit, add on."

That first day I met him, about 15 of us were treated to a private showing of "The Boy From New York City." I think I'd already seen it, and still have the cable version copied onto VHS right next to his second special titled "Crazy from the Heat." I still have it but I just can't bear to watch it. Not yet.

No need. A friend posted a comment here that reminded me of his classic bit (I'm up!) supposedly between him and his mother. I hadn't thought of it in years, but laughed in deep recognition. And I laughed hard.

Then came the first tears since I'd heard the news.

I wondered if I would cry -- I didn't know him that well, afterall -- but I find it hard to believe that such a great and prolific source of creativity didn't get a happier ending.

He had a good bit. Shouldn't he get the chance to "add on?"

Yes, I cried. But first, there was laughter.

Honest.

Fun calculator

2007-03-17T01:30:00.000-05:00

Get excited about math!
Try this calculator
It works, too.

Adults only

Unbelievable: Rich Jeni suicide

2007-03-11T19:46:00.000-05:00

THOUGHTS ON RICH JENI

TORTURED SOUL
You know that whole "crying on the inside, laughing on the outside" saying? And all those critiques with that theme from the internet and armchair psychologists? I don't wanna hear it!

ROCK 'n' HIS ROLE
On a side note: Tragedy plus time equals comedy, although surely Chris Rock's Monday night comments on Letterman were too soon for most. However, to be fair, he did hit the nail on the head and stayed true to himself, the situation and his late friend. His seemingly flip comments probably best illustrate not only Rock's humor style but the very point of being a comedian. He saw a sentimental balloon and he bust it with the truth. If Jeni had been there, he probably would've said "Go see Chris' new movie." I thought the same thing when Belushi died -- where was the parody scene that he would have been the first to do?

So, don't criticize Rock. He lost a friend and will deal with it privately.

We all will.
========================

According to the Associated Press, USA Today. and Yahoo news, talented stand-up comedian and film actor Richard Jeni died sometime Saturday morning from a gunshot wound. He was 45.

First indications: suicide.

Investigations are continuing and suicide has not been confirmed by police. An autopsy is scheduled for Monday.

Jeni was a frequent guest at Chicago's late lamented Funny Firm and spoke to my "class" there around 1989 or 1990.

Savvy 'Ssica

2007-03-11T19:30:00.000-05:00

'Ssica used to live in the town where I now report from. Her grandmother got a subscription to keep track of her, but now they keep track of me.

"I see your name on the front page of the newspaper," she said. "Sometimes, it is even above the fold."

Sheesh.

Sweet Home for Hudson

2007-03-07T01:19:00.000-06:00

Mayor Richard Daley proclaimed Tuesday "Jennifer Hudson Day" to honor the budding star, whose Cinderella story took her from Chicago's South Side to the Hollywood A-list.

She's an inspiration to everyone who has a dream," Daley told hundreds of screaming fans. "People told her `You can't.'

And she said `I can... Not only can I do it, but you can do it, too...."

Her resiliency resonated with fans, who said they admired Hudson for never giving up her dream.

"Anything is possible if you believe," said 18-year-old Sharhonda Woodard, who braved bitter temperatures for a chance to see Hudson in person.

Kirpatrick Taylor, 37, said Hudson was an inspiration.

She's a dream girl for real," he said.

Toque up for new Second City reality show:

2007-03-04T03:53:00.000-06:00

Americans are being told to "take off, eh, hosers" when it comes to an upcoming reality show focusing on improv. They won't be allowed in the contest for an art form which started in Chicago!

See the evolution of my comments....

2/18 I don't get this reality contest. First of all, I'll bet it might be limited to Canadians, also the point of improvisation is teamwork and yet this contest appears to be seeking an individual. Legendary status should be earned not conferred.

I like the chair in the banner image, however. Classic.

And for the record, I don't like the mainstage set at Second City that gave up the revolving door, door and window. Call me old fashioned! Musical Director Ruby Streak refers to it in her podcast.

The majority of famous Second City Canadians were best known for their SCTV era as well as being some of the original Not Ready for Prime Time Players, so the banner image below of 90's era of Mike Meyers looks bad not only because he looks like he is Ralph Cramden, but the photo was stressed to look as old as the rest. Do the math, it's quite a leap in time.

Still don't know for sure but I bet there is a Canadian requirement that doesn't allow anyone else to audition - still seeking confirmation. Otherwise, why are there no U.S. audition sites? And the four step illustration by "Ashley" is "awful," leading people to think that you can win this thing just by lots of practice alone.

Why? Second City originated in Chicago..................Something stinks.....but I"m not bitter.
''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''
MARCH 3 UPDATE: The shadow on their banner image has already been revised to look like Marty Short's Ed Grimley by way of his pre-Something-About-Mary cowlick. Will it change again? The photo for Short on the strip at the bottom is pretty bad, too.
swer. Canadians only. I don't even know if this will air in the U.S.

March 4 UPDATE: "Sketch comedy performers from all over Canada will compete to join the ranks of such legendary Canadian performers as John Candy...." Banner image has changed again, no more shadow.

March 6: Got my answer. I knew it!

-- Chris Allicock wrote: Yes, this is for Canadian residents only. As the show has a Canadian agency funding component this is a mandatory requirement.

Of course, that's the bad news.

The good news is this same "Canadian content" requirement reared it's "ugly" head once before in a way that affected Americans.

When SCTV, which was filmed in Canada, left their Canadian content in their general broadcast for all to see, Americans fell in love with the result --a fake show called "The Great White North" with Bob and Doug McKenzie that, along with the SCTV and it's behind the scenes approach pre-dates both "Wayne's World" and NBC's "30 Rock."

And yes, I actually own an LP of this act. Bob and Doug tickled me at the time. Recently they used these characterizations for a Disney movie "Brother Bear."

Other good news, the unintended result of this Canadian Content rule that starred Rick Moranis and Dave Thomas as two brothers was so popular it surely ushered in the way for another Canadian show that was hugely successful on public television and is still celebrated, "The Red Green Show" and all the gang up at Possum Lodge struggling to keep their stick on the ice.

This show featured another comic actor who came from Second City named Patrick McKenna as nephew Harold and Peter Keleghan as Ranger Gord. Dave Thomas appeared as a guest alongside his real brother Ian.

Ironically, and contrary to popular belief, the very talented Thomas has no Second City background or training.

LOCAL TV WEATHERMAN JOKE OF THE DAY

2007-03-04T02:23:00.000-06:00

"This week was Ed Wilson's fault," joked Brad Edwards, the ABC weatherman introducing himself as overnight host of local station's Variety telethon and joking about the weekend bookend storms of the century.

QUOTATION: I was adored once, too

2007-03-02T01:02:00.000-06:00

In the film, Four Weddings and a Funeral, the character of Gareth toasts the couple at the Scottish wedding with

"A toast before we go into battle. True love - in whatever shape or form it may come - may we all in our dotage be proud to say 'I was adored once too'."

Orville, we hardly knew ye

2007-03-02T00:54:00.001-06:00

WHAT is that thing they are using to portray Orville Redenbacher? According to Wikipedia he started out earning a small fortune with fertilizer.

Well, somebody's selling the same thing again with these new stupid commercials.
Is that a face? CGI? Silly putty? Ugh.

And anyway, the real guy popped his last corn awhile ago!

Foreclosures on the RISE

2007-03-02T00:27:00.000-06:00

I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT

"Foreclosures rising among high-risk US mortgages
Loans made to people with weak credit during the housing boom have pushed more than 20 companies into bankruptcy....Abuses got so bad that some lenders were making loans to
borrowers who ended up defaulting on their very first payment, according to housing experts...."

Moreover, will record homeownership turn to record homelessness?

Alternate titles

2007-03-01T00:45:00.000-06:00

The original title of the article is

"Economy slowed, not stalled...
The US gross domestic product grew only 2.2 percent last quarter

Perhaps still overshadowed by the Oscars, I would suggest instead

Economy shaken, not stirred.

An Inconvenient Light Bulb

2007-02-27T23:13:00.000-06:00

Two stories that reflect on each other.

Don't hide your light under a bushel, at least not for much longer. It may be on the way out since the incandescent bulb is an energy hog.

"Just 5 percent of the electricity it uses goes to light the bulb; the other 95 percent is heat. Improving light output and lowering heat output would reduce demand for electricity from coal-fired power plants, which emit carbon dioxide. CO2, most climate scientists say, is the single largest contributor to global warming...(responsible for about 10 percent of all US electricity use)."

Meanwhile, is it an inconvenient truth, or is Al Gore walking the talk?

As a leading voice in the alert on global warming Gore said he leads a "carbon-neutral lifestyle," which means the Gores invest money in projects to reduce energy consumption around the globe at such a rate that should balance out his own carbon emissions.

A spokeswoman for Gore said he purchases enough "green power" — renewable energy sources such as solar, wind and methane gas — to balance 100% of his electricity costs.

Seems like that would work only if everyone else were breaking even, too. Otherwise, it would be known as "robbing Peter to pay Paul." Comments?

That's sort of what a conservative group is questioning, too. They say that Gore is not sacrificing as advertised because his Carthage/Nashville mansion -- he's got another one in the Washington, D.C. area -- uses too much electricity, according to the Associated Press, and is more than four times larger than the average new American home built last year.

A spokeswoman for Gore said the former vice president invests in enough renewable energy to make up for the home's power consumption....."For every ton of carbon they emit, he offsets that by doing investments in renewable energy sources," Kreider said.

...Parker said Gore has been purchasing the "green power" for $432 a month since November. The Gore home is also under renovation to add solar panels, Kreider said.

The group is citing figures that the electric company contests they didn't provide.

Say it loud, say it proud.

This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine.

Quotation: God Gives Everyone of Us a Gift

2007-02-27T23:04:00.000-06:00

What makes Tavis Smiley run, asked Clarence Page.

"The short answer is that God gives everyone of us a gift," he answered. "And for every gift, he also provides a corresponding need. When your gift finds its need, you are fulfilling your purpose. I'm trying to fulfill my purpose, wherever it may be."

OSCARS: Your Dream's Just About to Come True

2007-02-26T00:06:00.000-06:00

Congratulations to Jennifer Hudson on her Oscar!

And, no, she did not and should not thank you know who. He said things to be a big shot on American Idol, not to inspire her to prove him wrong. There are those teachers will push you or be harder on you. He ain't one of them. HE was clearly wrong, and as we all know, is often wrong despite his expertise.

Hudson's got quite an instrument. It'll be fun to see what she does with it. And they showed one of my favorite moments from the movie when she gets right in Jamie Foxx' face to challenge him. "I didn't think so." LOL

...and good karma to Hudson, finally giving credit to the original Effie/Grammy Award winner Jennifer Holliday, if just barely, at the end when the music began to swell. Of course, in contrast, she left out Florence Ballard, the Supreme the role is largely based on -- although Holliday fought for the role NOT to end before the intermission!

In an attempt to keep speeches short, Academy organizers set up a "thank-you cam" just offstage for winners to add any names forgotten. The video will be on the official site until next year's show.

Adding to the speech which aired, Hudson used her thank-you cam time to say, "I want to definitely thank Miss Jennifer Holliday, the one and only."

She remembered to thank one more "only."

"And I'd like to thank — did I say God? Yes, God."

I don't have cable -- did Holliday sing for E! channel in pre-show coverage? Did you miss it, too? See her '82 Tony performance.

In an upset, Alan Arkin won for "Little Miss Sunshine." He is one of the original and quite esteemed Compass Players, which begat Chicago's famed Second City, so ya gotta love that!

Eddie Murphy deserved to win, but then so did Peter O'Toole. Murphy probably lost thanks to the Norbit type crap he insists on putting out with bad timing, and O'Toole accepted an honorary one, what, last year?

I must say, the three songs from "Dreamgirls" must have canceled each other out. Lawd knows I loves me some Melissa Etheridge, but was not real thrilled with her winning song "I Need to Wake Up." Bring her some water somebody...and wake her up. And that song from "Cars" has an intro that is definitely reminiscent of another classic I can't think of right now.

Congrats also to host Ellen DeGeneres -- she joins a long list of distinguised hosts, fit it to her style and didn't get in the way of the action. Nothing special, though.

The comic song with Will Farrell, et al wasn't that clever but made a good point.

Is Gore running or not? Not yet.

Newspapers equal aliens?

2007-02-25T14:24:00.000-06:00

In the article US: NAA’s E.T. gives alienated image of newspapers?
we are told that blogger Alan Mutter doesn't like the
Newspaper Association of America’s plan to launch a multi-million dollar public image campaign using
an E.T. alien to illustrate newspaper readers...
turns out the responsible
The Martin Agency
for the ad campaign.

They obviously think their name is Martian.....

Beaver seen in NYC; first in centuries

2007-02-25T14:23:00.000-06:00

Oh, that Britney!

BBBbbbbbbbbbbbb

2007-02-23T00:49:00.000-06:00

I have one of those new, ergonomic keyboard with half slanted to the right and half to the left.

I have a tough time typing B.

Sometimes I just skip it.

I know, I know.

That makes me an itch.

One More Hat Thrown into the Presidential Ring

2007-02-18T20:46:00.000-06:00

Guess who said this on Feb. 18

"I want a return to the values that made this nation great...equity and justice and fairness and opportunity... I am running for president on that platform. If you want me to win, vote for me. I am not spending any more money on ads or fighting. I offer myself and I will make sure the job gets done, and done right. I know the answers. I am a grandma."

Hold on to your hats....

it's Roseanne Barr

(and no I don't know if she's serious).

Things you can't do in Bangkok

2007-02-14T02:20:00.000-06:00

According to local CBS affiliate KCCI ==

If caught kissing in public on Valentine's Day
Anyone under 18
will get a warning
and their parents will get a phone call

Where?
Bangkok
Really?
Seriously?

Have they translated their own name?

If I say it, someone will call my parents!

Dont cha wish your girlfriend could write like me

2007-02-09T22:52:00.000-06:00

Art Buchwald

Molly Ivins

Anna Nicole Smith

Death always happens in threes.

Poor Anna Nicole.
It's just like losing Princess Diana all over again.

LOVE: EXCITING AND NEW

2007-02-07T23:00:00.000-06:00

Get ready for the hard core wind-up to Valentine's Day, including various promotions and calls for flower and ring buying...but remember that true love really does exist. Here are two examples.

GETTING IT ON NEOLITHIC STYLE

#1 According to Reuters, "a pair of human skeletons lie in an eternal embrace at an Neolithic archaeological dig site near Mantova, Italy, in this photo released February 6, 2007. (Enrico Pajello/Handout/Reuters)

This photo captures my imagination and just about breaks my heart. Who wouldn't want to spend 5,000 years in the arms of their beloved?

YOU'LL NEVER SING IT THE SAME WAY AGAIN

#2 There's a new book telling an old story that I always run across when I feel like being modern and "googling" myself.

The story is that of John Newton, his life and the woman he loved named Mary Catlett. By all accounts, she waited for him to return -- against all hope and when everyone else gave him up for dead.

She prayed for him not knowing the extreme hardships he faced.

He hoped she would be there, waiting for him.

They had no way of knowing the other would remain true.

Once reunited, they joined hearts and hands and were one.

This is the true story behind the life of the man who wrote what is arguably the most famous hymn ever: "Amazing Grace."

And now a closing word from someone who is not at all bitter:

They say that love will find you when you least expect it.
That's why I don't use public restrooms.
-- (another) Mary Catlett, award-winning writer and blogger

Quotation: Eddie Murphy (Carrot Top & Bill Hicks)

2007-02-05T00:16:00.000-06:00

Eddie Murphy's got a nomination?
Like I was Carrot Top or somebody...

Eddie Murphy on syndicated Extra TV show

"Otay!"
For the uninitiated, Carrot Top is a prop comic and "nobody likes a prop comic," plus he beat out comic icon Bill Hicks for an award just before the latter's death, which was out of his control but never set well with comedy insiders...

After a moving account of Hicks' death from pancreatic cancer at 32, she concludes, "Four days later, Carrot Top won the American Comedy Award." Bill Hicks would have laughed. SOURCE: American Scream: The Bill Hicks Story by Cynthia True.

LUSH LIFE: Billy Strayhorn on PBS

2007-02-05T00:02:00.000-06:00

If you're not watching PBS' Independent Lens -- or even taping it (since it comes on late Sunday night here in central Iowa) -- then I pity you.

Next week will be a feature on (often uncredited, but he co-wrote) "Satin Doll," and "Lush Life" composer Billy Strayhorn, which follows today's episode on three people living with the neurological disorder called dystonia called "Twisted," by Laurel Chiten.

Treat yourself to some thought-provoking documentaries -- although I must admit, the style of documentary has changed significantly to include the documentarian on camera and a very personal approach that rarely varies anymore. Isn't that format too easy?

Quotation: Ralph Nader

2007-02-04T16:15:00.000-06:00

Don't be afraid to be different, said his mother.

Turn your back on the pack.
Ralph Nader's mother.

So THAT's why they call them balls

2007-02-04T15:59:00.000-06:00

Coaches don't usually get penalized for giving bad advice, however, a high school coach from Leavitt Area High School in Maine has been fired for telling his boys basketball team at a Jan. 23 halftime to "check their manhood" before returning to the basketball court.

Talk about uplifting advice.

"He then required his players to all stand up and put their hands down their pants and check their manhood," Principal Patrick Hartnett said, according to the Associated Press.

Reportedly, all but one player followed the coach's instructions.

What I want to know is: which ones washed their hands?

Coach Remillard said in a statement that such a tactic is typical lockerroom behavior -- well, probably not in the girl's lockerroom.

Additionally, the coach advised his players that game "was about who had the biggest (male genitalia) in town."

Well, what isn't?

Of course that same proud tradition of "typical lockerroom behavior" also finds it's lineage in the famous chair throwing tirades of Bobby Knight from Indiana University and stories of coaches like the one who passed out tampons to his players, as a way to question their manhood.

So, the next time your favorite boys basketball team returns from halftime -- be sure and wash your hands.

Be safe -- high five only with your foam finger!

R.I.P. Charles Lane

2007-01-28T06:02:00.000-06:00

UPDATED
Son Tom said his father has passed away 7/10/07

This week veteran actor Charles Lane turned 102 years old on Jan. 26.

He's one of those faces you've seen repeatedly -- and in "repeats" -- but perhaps can't name readily, it is so familiar.

Two of his best known roles were when he appeared as an equally anxious father of six girls awaiting a hoped for boy alongside Ricky Ricardo during the famous "I Love Lucy" episode when Little Ricky is born and as land baron Potter's bill collector in "It's a Wonderful Life" when he said:

"...Your Potter's Field, my dear Mr. Employer, is becoming just that. And are the local yokels making with those David and Goliath wisecracks!

...(as he leaves): As I say, it's no skin off my nose. But one of these days this bright young man is going to be asking George Bailey for a job...."

REVEALED: Kevin Clash -- MAN BEHIND THE TICKLES

2007-01-25T00:31:00.000-06:00

I guess I always took Grover for granted.

You see, Grover (and arguably the equally blue Cookie Monster)
was my go to guy. I don't know what it was. The only other furry guy I ever went for was Robin Williams. Did you know they had to shave him for that Peter Pan movie....ah, but I digress.

Of course, Sesame Street faded to the background for me, but when I checked in, it appeared to Grover had been replaced.

To me, a child of the '70s, Elmo came out of nowhere -- there was probably a slow build-up while I was off living my life or busy in college (the first time). Even before he was a sought after doll, Elmo's aura hung heavy over the rest of the 'Street. He was everywhere!

I was worried and I resented him -- did he really think he could replace Grover? The sweet blue one was no where to be seen.

Oh, but Elmo won me over eventually. And honestly, that new Tickle Me Elmo makes me laugh, too. What, is he having an orgasm?

Still, I'd be first in line for a Grab Me Grover.

And adapting to Elmo helped when I randomly caught an episode where Grover reappeared. In his knowing way he set my mind at ease by taking the much younger Elmo on a taxi ride to the past where we revisited the past and storylines I knew: Mr. Hooper and his store, and Luis' Fix-It Shop were featured.

I even got to see Luis and Maria's wedding -- though, frankly, we all felt she was much more into David, and where did he go, anyway -- and I was reminded how Snuffy was once thought to be a figment of Big Bird's imagination. I warmed up to Elmo's acceptance of the past -- now I could accept him as the present -- and together we saw storylines I had missed like the adoption of Miles, birth of Gabi and so forth.

It was even heartwarming to see a rehash of Elmo dealing with the fear of fire in a post 9/11 world, since we were all a little afraid afterwards, weren't we?

So Elmo stayed the course. He was sweet and extremely lovable. His laugh was infectious and honest, offered generously. Even though he wasn't my era, it didn't seem to bother the similarly aged Rosie O'Donnell. They had a sweet relationship. Just as she introduced me to the Latino singer Marc Anthony, she smoothed the way for me with Elmo.

So for years I just bought into it. Elmo was Elmo. Case closed.

I'd long since stopped wondering what Oscar the Grouch looked like inside his trash can, so I didn't give Elmo much thought. Sure, I wondered how anyone could stand to keep their hands up so long or crouch so far, but it was all for the best.

Afterall, who'd really want to know? I think I would be truly traumatized to see the Muppets hanging limp and lifeless as Conan O'Brien has described.

I think I had settled into imagining the real person behind Elmo to be, well, a fuzzy monster. Not some big strong guy who supported his family by keeping his hand up Elmo's a** and manipulating his spaghetti arms.

Then I heard the actor Benjamin Bratt on "Ellen" 10/26/05. He told a story of meeting a six foot plus large football player type. They talked and he discovered, "This was the man behind Elmo!"

So I had to go on the internet to find out.

That's ELMO, the infamous little 3-1/2 year old red monster -- AKA Kevin Clash.

Finally -- the brains behind the fuzz. The real man behind the monster.
Trivia with more photos
Voiceover Resumes

"I would love to be totally like Elmo," Clash says. "He is playful and direct and positive. Anything he does, he has a great time doing it." Quote

"If you love what you're doing and you really want to do it, go for it. I don't care if it makes money or doesn't. It'd be nice, too. You know, I had a lot of naysayers when I was young. Oh you sleep with your puppets....(asking his parents) why do you let him build puppets....they always encouraged me...."
Listen to Clash with Tavis Smiley. 2004 Smiley Interview Online

(NOTE: in this interview, Smiley doesn't know who "Mr. Hooper" is. How old IS he not to know, yet be a fan? Egad. Also note the name of Clash's mentor: Richard Hunt. LOL)

Dinosaurs was an ABC television show. Baby Sinclair's favorite pastime was to hit Earl repeatedly over the head with a frying pan while shouting "Not the mama!" His other catch phrase garnered its own music video: "I'm the Baby, Gotta Love Me."

Remember -- It's Elmo's World, and we're just livin' in it.

Elmo loves you! and others.....
Originally written 10/26/05 and re-edited because Laurie's been waiting...

There's An Old Saying

2007-01-22T01:23:00.001-06:00

A comic says funny things,

but a

comedian

says

things

funny.

This makes me

a

singer.

DIG THAT LIMP TIE ON ROCK

2007-01-22T01:23:00.000-06:00

10/6/05 9:26 a.m.
Here's a neat site that loads quickly and has great trivia and sound clips -- I didn't know that Doris Day turned down the role of Mrs. Robinson in The Graduate. I can see it, right down to the tan lines....

And just like Debbie Reynolds, it took the death of her husband for her to realize the mismanagement of her money by a spouse. I just read Candice Bergen's autobiography "Knock Wood" and she lived with Day's son Terry Melcher for years.

Sadly he died recently, but he was also one of three to put up money for the landmark Monterey Pop Festival (two years before Woodstock). Do you know who the other two were? The one that surprised me probably wishes he had that money back....go ahead....ask me.

But back to this site: dig the painted on, limp, tie on Rock Hudson on this "Lover Come Back" ad (....and Doris looks pretty phallic to me).

Quotation: "You'll only be fired if you fail."

2007-01-21T14:10:00.000-06:00

"If you're worried about getting a job--or keeping one--start a company of your own. By doing so, you'll reap the rewards of your hard work and you'll only get fired if you fail. This is the land of opportunity. Live in it."

-- Bruce Campbell, actor, writer, director and author of autobiography, "If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B Movie Actor," as quoted during Starbucks campaign known as "The Way I See It" (#65).

QUOTATION: Woody Allen

2007-01-21T13:50:00.000-06:00

"There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more."

I know, you're thinking, "Which one are you, Woody?"

Remote Behavior

2007-01-21T13:41:00.000-06:00

According to Reuters Life, a drunken Finn visiting his 81-year-old Moscow grandmother stabbed her to death when they could not agree which program to watch.

Proving once again that Leno & Letterman fans simply cannot co-exist.

World's Oldest Profession meets oldest punchline

2007-01-21T13:37:00.000-06:00

According to Reuters, a statue honoring prostitutes will be unveiled in March. Like Amsterdam, the statue is said to be of a woman looking confidently forward.

Detractors say that a truer depiction would be to have the woman counting ceiling tiles.

Farm to Fork in Minnesota

2007-01-21T13:31:00.000-06:00

Getting More Locally Produced Foods into Restaurants
According to the California-based Community Alliance with Family Farmers, every dollar's worth of produce sold in the supermarket returns an average of 9 cents to the grower. But direct purchases -- from a farmer's market for instance -- return an average of 90 cents per dollar. The alliance claims the direct purchasing model will keep thousands of small farmers in business. But their fate may rest largely in the hands of restaurants and the food service sector...

...The (Guthrie) theater is rooted in hiring local and regional actors. So why not prepare and serve locally grown food from area farmers and processors, according to a new feature on Iowa Public TV's "Market to Market."

Ironically, it took a company from California to alert them to local trends and their own "Farm to Fork" program...

Interviews include a pork producer and Hope Creamery, all of Minnesota. Problems that need to be solved include distribution infrastructures which are lacking.

OUR BIGGEST FEAR

2007-01-20T01:23:00.000-06:00

...is not that we are inadequate,
our deepest fear is that
we are powerful beyond measure.
We ask ourselves who am I to be
brilliant, gorgeous, talented & fabulous.

Actually, who are you not to be...
-- Akeelah and the Bee (2006)

The Improviser's Prayer

2007-01-18T22:41:00.000-06:00

SAY, YES AND....

Don't live in the past,
Stay in the Now
Give yourself permission to Play
When in doubt, improvise
Trust YOU
You have everything you need.
2007 is Your year!

(~ with a slight edit, this is courtesy of Dionna Griffin-Irons
Second City Outreach & Diversity)

THANK YOU, LAURIE!!!!!

2007-01-15T15:48:00.000-06:00

OFFICIAL PROCLAMATION

LAURIE IS GREAT!

Bring Me the Skull of Del Close

2007-01-11T00:43:00.000-06:00

CLOSE ENOUGH:
LEARNING THE LESSONS OF IMPROV
AND AGREEING TO DISAGREE

I always bought into the gross-out hype about Del Close donating his skull to the Goodman Theatre for a production of Hamlet. Of course he’d do something like that. Afterall, he was a unique guy and prone to original thinking, shall we say.

However, after reading the July 21 Chicago Tribune article “No bones about it: Comic got last laugh” and the resulting confession “Not even close: Skull not that of improv legend,” both by Robert K. Elder, it is clear to me that the facts indicate there is no way this could truly be the skull of the revered improviser. Rusty screws, autopsy marks and remaining teeth in the skull (which Close reportedly did not have) - - Well, the facts simply don’t support it.

Now, ask me directly if that is the skull of Del Close, co-founder of the ImprovOlympic (or IO to those in the know) thanks to his savior Charna Halpern, and long considered to be the third in a “Holy Trinity of improv" with Viola Spolin and her son Paul Sills -- and I will tell you, without hesitation, “Yes, it is...and...”

And for once, I agree with Charna Halpern.

I, too, would never deny another improvisor’s reality...even in death.

Frankly, it's a no brainer -- just like the skull, ha ha ha, oh, sorry -- because, for both famed teachers, this fits the basic tents of improvisation, such as:

leave your hang-ups at the door (well, Del did shuffle off his mortal coil),
trust (Charna did him proud by sticking to her story) and
true communication (Del got plenty of press).

I also agree with Close’s biographer Jeff Griggs who said, “The idea should be preserved, if not the actual cranium.”

I especially liked the fact that one of the first experts quoted on the skull’s status said it “made me laugh.”

That was probably his point.

Afterall, (advanced) Second City conservatory students are trained to “Find the funny!” in their professional training, but "in the beginning" students are gently reminded to stay in the moment, practice honest listening and true communication skills.

Humor is not required at the most basic level... but almost always shows up.

Ta Daa!

Del, ever the teacher, scores again. Humor showed up.

It certainly did in this brouhaha. This cranial tempest in a teapot. This improvisor's inquiry. What, was there no Zapruder film? No blood stained gloves?

It's like that old Steven Wright joke about his antique ax. Except, as he explains, he replaced the head. Oh, and the handle is new -- but it occupies the same space and time.

Well, actual skull of Del or not, I say "close" enough. YES....AND....

And even in death, could we expect any less from the inventor of that long-form improv game “The Harold?” That was, afterall, the innovative game that, when played correctly, you’d see the fabled “Harold.”

Of course, if all else fails, remember that other lesson: we can agree to disagree.

The skull is Close enough. No bones about it.

CURTAIN

P.S. This was written in Sept. in response to Chicago Tribune articles in July. Luckily, the topic of improv is always timeless for those who just want to hide from their where.

MARY MAILE IS COMING BACK

2006-12-31T19:08:00.000-06:00

MARY MAILE IS COMING BACK SOON.
HAPPY NEW YEAR AND STAY TUNED!

R.I.P. Reba

2006-01-18T20:16:00.000-06:00

Reba girl
the condo kitty
deceased 1/18/06

Creativity Quote: Julia Cameron

2005-12-31T19:17:00.000-06:00

Creativity —
like human life itself —
begins in darkness.
Julia Cameron

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SOURCE: W R I T E R S • O N • T H E • R I S E
Volume Three, Issue One -- January 2006
Inspiration, Insight and Ideas For Emerging Freelance Writers

I LOVE WRITING

2005-12-31T19:14:00.000-06:00

Some thoughts...see quote source below.

"I love what I do. I love writing. And I feel so grateful to be able to pursue what I love as a career.

Writing has been my constant companion in times of duress and joy...My writing career hasn’t exactly been a cake-walk, but when I look back, I can see pretty clearly that my struggles have not been about others or even, “The Industry,” they have been about me struggling with me. When I flail, I am the one thrashing myself around. When I stumble, I am usually the one who was not paying attention. And when I succeed, it is because of my own consistent efforts over time.

...Developing a writing career takes time and patience and self-awareness...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SOURCE: W R I T E R S • O N • T H E • R I S E
Inspiration, Insight and Ideas For Emerging Freelance Writers
Volume Three, Issue One -- January 2006
http://www.writersontherise.com/newsletter.html
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Drop Yer Ball & Get a Little Dick Tonight

2005-12-31T18:23:00.000-06:00

I know "Jane" and the other HSR-ers will want to know about any opportunity for a little more Dick --
Clark, that is.

What did you think I meant?

The more things change,
the older our hosts get apparently.

In a television network world that generally denies the existence of anyone over, say 50 years of age, it appears that the worst many of us will be able to say about this New Year's Eve is that we rang it in with a couple of seventy year o lds...

BUT WHAT A COUPLE!!!!

“Regis can do anything these young punks can do,” said Philbin, 74. “I fit right in there with my Fox people. They want Regis to dance, Regis will dance. They want Regis to lift weights with them, Regis will lift weights with them. Whatever they want!”Sure, but can these young whippersnappers speak about themselves in the third person SO convincingly????? Joy is a lucky woman, isn't she?

How about a new "wife swap" show explaining the whole Regis / Seacrest switch...poor Carson Daly, left out of the heir apparent business....Apparently, CBS is staying out of the fray -- but I think it would be nice to see a little Guy Lombardo rerun in contrast, myself. (Though it was death personified to me back in the day.)

Also, here's a fun look at what might have been for the year in review.

Non-Alcoholic Drink Recipe Winners

Tethered, Yet Free: Happy New Year!!

2005-12-31T17:55:00.000-06:00

I am reminded of my first day at school. My mother walked me there, holding my hand, providing safety and transition. There was anxiety and excitement. I think at that point my sister was too young to be much of a playmate. In my neighborhood, there was an older girl, Tammy, and one my own age, Brigitte, but my mother was my main playmate I think. Certainly, mom was the one I had the most allegiance to -- and to this day I am nothing if not loyal.

Until now. We entered the room, with her next to me and towering above, ever present -- until I saw something wonderful. Other people my age, all playing and laughing, building a brick red fortress from oversize cardboard bricks that I grew to love. I also set eyes on my first crush that Kindergarten day. I was thrilled.

I must have pulled away, still tethered to mom, but longing to join in the fun. I remember a growing sense of distance, physically, emotionally. I was puzzled, briefly. Mom suddenly didn't fit in. I wanted to include her, but she was clearly out of her element. She seemed okay about it, but I remember being conflicted. Happily, she made herself scarce and I dove deep into years of "pig pile," snowy billows of recess "Makeup!" (stolen, I think, from a famous skit from "Your Show of Shows" which we could not possibly have had access to, so go figure!) and the aforementioned cardboard joys of my early school years.

I was independent for the first time and I was happy.

As we enter this new year -- 2006 did you say? -- I am fortunate to be multi-tasking mentally with a lot of new things "on my plate." I have hopes that I may finally be back on track personally and professionally, and so I have much on my mind besides the usual New Year's thoughts.

Yet I truly wonder, what other conflicting ideas or feelings am I tethered to now, but perhaps don't recognize? Which of these ideas or habits served me well with their motherly comfort -- but which I am also grown enough to now release? What loyalties must be renegotiated -- or ended?

How about you? That's what New Year's is all about, huh?

CHEERS!

Best to you all..........

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In this new year, let us remember our troops, as well.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

LAST MINUTE LAUGHS

2005-12-24T17:47:00.000-06:00

AND YOU THOUGHT YOUR FAMILY WAS A PIECE OF WORK?
Read Salon's "Christmas with the Wilsons"

WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR CHRISTMAS, LITTLE GIRL?
Russ Mitchell, who hardly looks old enough to drink legally himself, had his daughter on the CBS "Early Show" this morning. He recounted asking one of her friends what he wanted for Christmas.

The friend said, "Just the love of my family."

Mitchell prompted his daughter, "Is that all you want for Christmas, too?"

"Nah, I've got that," she insisted, "I want presents."

IN THE (NON) SPIRIT OF THE SEASON
Did Rove leak Santa's secret, too?

THE COAL IN OSAMA'S STOCKING
BIN LADIN COMES...OUT OF HIDING
The daughter of Osama bin Laden's half brother has done a photo shoot and interview GQ magazine. Is there such a thing as a mini-burka?

"Come on, where's the American spirit? Accept me. I want to be embraced, because my values are like yours. And I'm here. I'm not hiding," Waah Dufour says in the interview.

'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
Legally speaking, of course.
Source: Gigglechick

AND FINALLY....
A THOUGHTFUL, LAST MINUTE GIFT IDEA

Radio Shack is selling a LAND SHARK! I kid you not. Apparently, every home should have one -- although for the life of me, I can't see why. Here's the extremely redundant catalog description.

* Life-like shark swims up to 50 feet per minute and can dive up to four feet!
* Looks like a real shark and has life-like movements
* Six functions including swimming and diving
* Speeds through the water at up to 50 feet per minute
* Dives up to 4.3 feet

Yeah, but does it look real? Can it dive 4 feet?

What a thoughtful, seasonal gift.

Connect with English: A True Dream Catcher

2005-12-21T06:44:00.000-06:00

It's time for me to get up on my soapbox again. For your own good, I must extoll the virtues of another PBS production. I just love "Connect with English."

Granted, it isn't aimed at me, and it is easy to overlook all the hard work going on in the classroom with the English as a Second Language students it is meant for, but I just love this show.

Realistic and always leaving you wanting more, the plot encompasses a wide range of experiences yet moves quickly. Produced by WGBH Boston with books from the McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. 1998, the dialogue doesn't talk down to students, and the casual viewer will not be put off by the teaching techniques -- and there are many -- employed in the show.

We meet vocalist/heroine Rebecca Casey as she belatedly moves away from her family to find her own heart by studying music now that she has raised her motherless brother. She travels across country, her car breaks down, she meets a man who will change her life, her father dies, her best friend is an abused woman, there's a farm, Boston, San Francisco, music for the love of creation, racism, a hard working heroine, a recurring theme of "brotherly love" courtesy the Mendoza family, desert heat, fear, anger, love...and happy holidays -- not to mention a great theme song called "Dream Catcher" (lyrics below).

An added, and often touching, benefit is when adult students synopsize what has happened thus far and then discuss the storyline and relate it to their own lives. Even if considered as a subplot, these interactions are tightly edited as well. No where is this better illustrated than when
when Rebecca is indecently proposed to during a job interview and then a male student tries to justify this storyline as "just business in America." Immediately, and almost surprisingly, another woman, newly acclimated to the freedoms of America herself, will not stand for it and the show ends just as she is surely about to take off his head.

"THAT IS SEXUAL HARASSMENT AND IT IS WRONG," she says. Or words to that effect.

Not surprisingly, we also get feedback from the students on their own American dream, as well as other touching insights. In times like these, it is good to hear of newcomers who are pleased with America.

Star Karin Anglin seems to get around, but hasn't really gotten the attention she deserves -- though you can hear her here. We have seen lots of her character's one-time boyfriend, aka Kelly Ripa's better half, Mark Consuelos as Alberto.

Carlos Lacamara turns in his usual excellent performance and is believeable and sympathetic at all times. He is an actor who deserves much better roles -- like this one. He is perhaps best known playing the father on CBS' Saturday morning show, Nickolodeon's "The Brothers Garcia."

There is still time to see this show in central Iowa. The series will begin again (Episode No. 101) at 5:00 AM, Saturday, December 24, 2005 and run until the final show on Tuesday, Jan 17, 5:00 AM. Check local listings and set your VCR!

RELATED SHOWS
French in Action
Destinos: An Introduction to Spanish
both from WGBH Boston and the Annenberg/CPB Project
and Crossroads Cafe.
==================================
Dream Catcher lyrics
From Episode 46 Friendship: Connect with English

All the lights are shining bright down in the city
shining like a million dreams
sometimes I feel
like I'm upside down
and all those dreams are falling right past me

Everybody needs, a dream catcher
someone to be there
when your dreams start to fall
everybody needs
a dream catcher

Someone to be there
when the bad dreams are all you can see
dream catcher
catch me

All the dreams are shining bright in the city
one of them must be for me
sometimes I feel if I could just touch one
that would be enough, enough for me

Everybody needs a dream catcher
someone to be there
when your dreams start to fall
everybody needs
a dream catcher
Someone to be there
when the bad dreams are all you can see
dream catcher

catch me
catch me
catch me

Hello, Carol

2005-12-15T20:36:00.000-06:00

Greetings to my potential employer!

Here's a link to the story we discussed, entitled Dad's Last Ride. Turns out it was hidden in the February archives (I wasn't even close, huh?).

As a bonus for "stopping by," this is one of my "artsy shots."

God can dream a bigger dream for you....

2005-12-06T02:14:00.000-06:00

God can dream a bigger dream for you
than you can dream for yourself."

This is something I recall Oprah saying. I think she said it to a little boy, and I think she then said to him (which I agree)
"Now you have to dream another big dream."

I Hate John Tesh's New Radio Show

2005-12-04T07:51:00.000-06:00

I'll say it again. I hate John Tesh's radio show.

Okay, that's pretty strong stuff. I don't hate anybody, but boy, his radio show seems pointless and annoying. Sometimes I think my feelings are a subconscious mirror of that old 1991 chestnut about the viewer who had a strong reaction everytime he heard Mary Hart's voice.

In my free associative world, I know that Tesh and Hart used to work together, so that would make sense to me. So maybe it is not hate I am feeling when I hear his otherwise talented voice, maybe I'm having an epileptic seizure.

One can hope.

But tonight was the last straw.

Quite innocently, I was out and about -- briefly -- making a short trip to the grocery store. On the way home, I happened to hear him promise a report "right after these messages" on a new trend which sounded interesting. Apparently people are spending time in their car, even when they don't have anywhere to go.

I would have had more to report had I listened, but I had already arrived home, and hearing the rest of the story would mean spending time in my car, even though I had no where to go.

Very funny, John.

But I warn you, don't push me too far!

MINISTER OF SILLY....LEMURS?

2005-12-04T07:21:00.000-06:00

Researchers from the University of Zurich have named a newly discovered species of lemur — one of the most primitive and endangered primates in the world — after the British comedian John Cleese in honor of his work with the animal.

The lemur's long legs are the only physical attribute it shares with Cleese, according to New Scientist magazine. "Woolly lemurs can't really walk — but they do enjoy silly jumps," he said.

IN HONOR OF THIS DISTINCTION, JOIN JOHN CLEESE AND THE PILLSBURY DOUGHBOY IN A DANCE.

No lemurs or doughboys were harmed in the making of these dances!

"Take me, Garth."

2005-12-04T07:16:00.000-06:00

Where? I'm low on gas,

and you need a jacket.

-- Wayne's World 2

Billy Crystal Quote: Comedy and The Craft

2005-12-04T06:31:00.000-06:00

"It's a big hug. It's a big hug from a lot of strangers that feel like family when we finish. It's the living room all over again. What can I say, I'm always home."

Comedian Billy Crystal on the joy he receives from a live audience.

Math Rears It's Funny Head: Comedians & The Craft

2005-12-04T02:52:00.000-06:00

Physicist Igor Krishtafovich claims to have discovered an actual formula for laughter -- and it ain't nothin' but a "HE" thing.

That's right. No surprise then that the goal of "humor effectiveness" is shortened to "HE." The scientist says that a sense of humor is a strong male quality indicating aggression, and a sign of good intellect that can be used as a weapon as well as increase his odds at survival and therfore evolution.

"That is why a sense of humor can be a much bigger sign of masculinity than the pumped-up muscles. Needless to say, I'm talking about the subconscious level of perception."

I'm thinking this is the biggest dick joke, ever. I'm talking about the subconscious level of perception, of course.

Nevertheless, the formula: HE = PI x C/T + BM

KEY
PI - personal involvement
C - complexity of a joke. The higher degree of complexity the better provided that your audience can solve the problem within 1 or 2 seconds.
T - time spent by a person solving a joke. The longer the time, the weaker the effect.
BM - background mood. A joker can have an advantage if an audience enjoys the show. However, a real good joke can "blow up" the most dismal audience.
HE - humor effectiveness.
FU - figure it out (edMC)
Sources: Erma Bombeck Writers' Workshop Newsletter, November 2005 Original source (translated from Russian)
~~

MEANWHILE, BACK AT THE TEST TUBE.....

Molecular neurobiologist Dr. Helen Pilcher is a British stand-up comedian specializing in scientific jokes. In June, she and her fellow analysts, as part of the Comedy Research Project, released the mathematical equation for a winning situation comedy.

Not since E=MC2 has a formula been so apathetically received.

The formula was derived when researchers watched two decades worth of British sitcoms over a two month period. Now that's funny.
"There are long-standing golden rules for sitcom," said Dr Pilcher, "but our findings bring them down to this single equation. Comedic value is determined by multiplying the recognisability of the main character (R) by their delusions of grandeur (D). This is added to the verbal wit of the script (V) and the total is multiplied by the amount someone falls over or suffers a physical injury (F).

"The difference in social status between the highest and lowest-ranking characters (S) is added and finally the total is divided by the success of any scheme or stratagem in the show (A). Each term in the formula is assigned a value up to a maximum of 10 to give an overall scientific score." Blah blah blah blah blah blah follow the link because this is a spoof, depending on who you ask....
Translation: Formula ((R x D + V) x F) + S all divided by A

Several high scoring shows would be recognizable to Americans. The top BBC shows and their scores: Only Fools and Horses (696), The Office (678), Father Ted (564), FawltyTowers (557), Blackadder (374.5). The shows that sucked scored between 96 and 6.5.The lowest scoring show was suitably titled 'Orrible.

The team, working for the satellite channel UKTV Gold, used the BBC medical drama Casualty (Americans, think "ER") as a "situation tragedy" control, on the basis that the formula would produce a minimal score. SOURCE Martin Wainwright Tuesday June 7, 2005 The Guardian

Buenos Aires Gives World Big Tip

2005-12-04T01:00:00.000-06:00

World AIDS Day was observed December 1, but no where more memorably than in Buenos Aires, Argentina.

To encourage condom use, officials there covered the city’s most famous landmark, an obelisk, with a giant pink condom therby providing the world with at least one less image they need to"click to enlarge."

The obelisk, which is identical to the Washington Monument but smaller at 220 feet (67 metres) tall, is a popular tourist site. Proof once again that size doesn't matter.

An "ABC" policy on AIDS prevention is in effect in the United States - Abstinence, Being faithful and using a Condom if necessary.

Translation: "Keep yer obelisk in yer pants."

Is Brad Pitt Dyslexic?

2005-12-03T05:57:00.000-06:00

Brad Pitt is seeking to adopt the two children of Angelina Jolie.

What part of
“First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes junior in a baby carriage”
did he not understand?

Let There Be Peace on... Dave & Oprah

2005-12-01T23:51:00.000-06:00

Without incident or enmity, Oprah and Dave enjoyed a heartfelt meeting of the minds tonight. Dave took up a mantle of seriousness usually reserved for poltician guests and, as Oprah repeatedly observed, can be thoughtful and well-read when it suits him.

Both were happy to refute all claims of a feud, and Letterman gallantly walked her to the next door theatre where her production of the new musical "The Color Purple" debuted. (Quite a difference from the dry-humping she usually receives at a genial Leno's hands "...Baby!")

However, the breakthrough no one is talking about, with regards to this O/D reunion, is how often Letterman has invoked the name LENO. Here is the true feud that must be ended!

Ironically the musical guest Bonnie Raitt was there promoting her album "Souls Alike." Her selection opened thusly,

"That was then and this is now, found my way back here somehow..."

Movie Review: Jennifer Aniston's "Derailed"

2005-12-01T18:12:00.000-06:00

"Derailed" is really just a post-AIDS era 21st century version of "Fatal Attraction." There is lots of guilt, shocking violence, blood, no sex, and a bad guy who has to be killed twice (oh, but he got to have lots of sex. I fell asleep during foreplay.)

There may have been a boiled rabbit. Like I said, I was asleep early on.

Need some symbolism? Dig Charles' (Clive Owen) phallic yet limp cigarette ashes as Dexter's cop "uncle" grills him. We get it, we get it, he's passive, ineffective, emasculated....through no fault at all of Jennifer Aniston's rather aggressive hooters which play their part impressively.

The good guys are strong black men (Winston Boyko as played by RZA and Dexter as played by Xzibit) who don't recieve enough screen time. As a result, they are apparently unable to afford vowels in real life.

All in all, "Derailed" and bad, bad boy Philippe Laroche (Vincent Cassel) just gives Americans one more reason to hate the French.

"Derailed" is a truly heartwarming holiday epic, fun for the whole family...especially if you're asleep.

Oh, well. I liked it better than CATS.

P.S. -- Bring yer own shiv!

Sperber: weSPARK's Flame Rises

2005-12-01T04:07:00.000-06:00

In 1997, Wendie Jo was a single mother of two and newly diagnosed with breast cancer. She found no support systems in place in her area. Understanding the needs of cancer patients, their families and friends, she founded a 501(C)(3) cancer support center in 2001.

This center is called weSPARK and is devoted to providing emotional and spiritual support for cancer patients, their families and friends in Sherman Oaks, CA. weSPARK stands for
Support
Prevention
Acceptance
Recovery and
Knowledge

You might not know her by name, but you do know actress Wendie Jo Sperber. updated

She was probably best known as the always likeable, humorous yin to Donna Dixon's sex pot yang on "Bosom Buddies," but other credits included Michael J. Fox' sister in the "Back to the Future" franchise, "Bachelor Party" with Tom Hanks, "Moving Violations" with Fred Willard, "1941" with John Belushi and Treat Williams, and various television series including "Private Benjamin," "Women In Prison," "Babes," "Hearts Afire," "Bosom Buddies," and most recently "Will and Grace," as well as voice over work on "Dinosaurs."

As a character actress, weight often played a part in Sperber's career, probably beginning with her notable lead role as Dinky in the ABC Afterschool Special: "Dinky Hocker Shoots Smack," based on a novel by M.E. Kerr.

As Amy on "Bosom Buddies" she had unrequited love for Henry (Peter Scolari), but the actress herself has been called a dear friend by both Scolari and Oscar winner co-star Tom Hanks, who made the following statement:

"The memory of Wendie Jo is that of a walking inspiration. She met the challenges of her illness with love, cheer, joy and altruism. We are going to miss her as surely as we are all better for knowing her."

Wendy Jo Sperber, cancer patient, actress and founder/CEO of “weSPARK” died Tuesday at home.

She is survived by her parents, and a son and daughter.

(DRUG) RESISTANCE IS FUTILE

2005-11-22T03:32:00.000-06:00

Small town pharmacist Jim Witt has been in business since 1999. It is a small "mom and pop" pharmacy in Ashby, Minnesota. Lately, Witt's come under public scrutiny for the price of the drugs he sells -- the low price, that is.

His website explains "...Many people have little or no prescription insurance. These people were in my community and were my neighbors. I felt obligated to do something. I believed I could still pay the expenses of the store and live a comfortable life while dispensing prescriptions with minimal mark up..."

One example: a medicine which costs him about $15, versus the recommended retail price as set by the drug company — $198.

"I could be charging more but I wouldn't feel right about it."

Why does he do this? Again, his website states "...I do not need to become rich. I want to have more free time to spend with my family. I want to be there for my kids as they grow up..."

This is a great story and a great idea. I hope this guy succeeds and sets a trend. Surely this kind of publicity will garner him the volume of business, and then some, that he had hoped for -- and banked on.

I just hope his success doesn't endanger the service he is offering -- pharmacists are vital to small towns. NOTE: Fees apply to credit card charges.

However, there is one problem that just glares at me -- the name on the prescription bottle's label.

The name of Witt's business is BORG PHARMACY.

Do you really want drugs from a BORG of any kind?

I know, I know. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.

BORG DRUG
PO Box 170
102 West Main
Ashby, MN 56309
218-747-2988
218-747-2137 fax
borgdrug@prtel.com
Contact: Jim or Dana
Store Hours: Mon-Fri 8:30-3:00

Another intriguing story from The CBS Evening News by Lee Cowan.

COLD WAR ENDS: OPRAH TO VISIT DAVE

2005-11-21T19:22:00.000-06:00

If Oprah appears a little bit taller these days, it could be due to the tall, late night talk show host on his knees next to her. News released an hour ago reports Oprah will be a guest on David Letterman's "Late Late Show" where he announced, in part:

"This just gives you an idea of what a big, big star this really is....she's going to be here on this show and it's going to be fantastic."

Although Oprah reportedly appeared twice on his NBC show, relations had been chilly at best in later years. One urban legend/rumor attributed it to an unfunny and unforgiveable "Aunt Jemima" joke.

And he reportedly declined invitations to appear on Oprah's show for fear of looking weak or even crying in public.

Yet he continued to woo her, offering to hold "the Super Bowl of Love" and "begging" Dr. Phil for assistance. Winfrey sent a gift for Letterman's son — though the elder still declined offers to be on her show.

Recently, Letterman featured a number from Winfrey's producing project, a musical version of "The Color Purple," which is what she will come to promote as well.

DOORS NOT OPEN TO BUSH

2005-11-21T06:58:00.000-06:00

On November 16 in Kyoto, President Bush predicted prosperity and political freedom would result if China allowed more religious and political freedoms to its people, adding:

"As China reforms its economy, its leaders are finding that once the door to freedom is opened even a crack, it cannot be closed."

Ironically, Bush learned first hand the importance of an "open door policy" as seen when CBS News showed him at the end of a news conference Sunday. Trying to exit the room, he instead was surprised to find the door was locked.

He tried both door handles before briefly coming to a formal attention pose -- sans military salute -- and facing his tormentors, the press.

Directed to an exit by an aide, he stopped to joke, "I was trying to escape. It didn't work." Waving, he then departed. "Thank you all."

SEE THE VIDEO, CLICK WATCH WHAT HAPPENED

MARY MAILE EXCLUSIVE
PICK YOUR OWN PUNCHLINE

1) And thus begins another failed "stop loss" program implemented by FEMA.
2) Trying to escape a hostile workplace? Now he knows how his soldiers feel.
3) Bush then took a bow, claiming he had staged a scene to prove his point: if a door is NOT opened even a crack, it cannot be opened at all. He then added, "Nyah, nyah nyah China. So there."
4) (in the style of a LENO visual SKETCH) Video of Bush trying to pull the doors open. (WE SEE the other side of the door where a Barbara Bush look-alike dressed as a Geisha is pulling mightily on the doors to keep them from budging. She is giggling and tee heeing to herself.)
5) (in the style of Letterman visual sketch) Video of Bush trying to pull open the doors. (Next, WE SEE what's on the other side. Cheney dressed as the Wizard from "The Wizard of Oz" finagling various gadgets to keep the door securely closed, shouting, "PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE MAN BEHIND THE DOOR."
6) Congressman Murtha was quoted in response: "Do I really have to give him a six month ultimatum for this, too?"

And finally:
Upon hearing that President Bush was unable to exit from Sunday's news conference, Democrats pointed to it as proof once again: President Bush has no clear exit strategy.

PHOTO CREDIT: Stuck (Jason Reed / Reuters)

Brief: Congressman Murtha Quotes

2005-11-21T06:24:00.000-06:00

Democratic Congressman Congressman John Murtha has called for a complete U.S. withdrawal of troops from Iraq within six months.

"I like guys who've never been there who criticize us who've been there," Murtha said. "I like that. I like guys who got five deferments and never been there and sent people to war and then don't like to hear suggestions that what may need to be done."

Cheney avoided military service during the 1960's Vietnam era with a series of draft deferments.

Bush served stateside in the National Guard during Vietnam.

Pennsylvanian Murtha is a retired Marine colonel and recipient of one Bronze Star and two Purple Hearts for his service in Vietnam. He was wounded twice.

In a news conference Sunday, Bush called Congressman Murtha a "good man," adding ...I know the decision to call for immediate withdrawal of our troops by Congressman Murtha was done in a careful and thoughtful way."

UP WITH (OLD) PEOPLE

2005-11-21T05:52:00.000-06:00

Need a reason to go on living? Make your own kind of music like the Young at Heart Chorus -- now on its international tour -- which was recently featured on the CBS Overnight News.One British reviewer had to say this about the experience.

"...I don't know what they put in the old folks' breakfast cereal in Northampton, Massachusetts... (I'm) watching rehearsals by a chorus group whose membership almost exclusively comprises performers in their seventies and eighties. The oldest is so old - 96! - that she has to appear on video. Have they never heard of bingo out here? ...You wouldn't think it, but it is a sight to marvel at..."

There's a lesson here for the younger set since the Bob Cilman, the company's musical director brought this about himself by "following his bliss...."

"....(Cilman) was a twentysomething council employee in Northampton, Massachusetts, when, in 1983, he took over responsibility for the community's senior citizens' music group. Under his stewardship, the troupe developed a local profile and began to sing baby-boomer tunes instead of the vaudeville standards...."

Their repetoire includes: OutKast's Hey Ya, "tongue-in-cheek enditions of All Shook Up ("My hands are shaky and my knees are weak/ I can't seem to stand on my own two feet") and Stairway to Heaven. James Brown's I Feel Good is on their list even though the soloist once broke his hip while singing it.They recently added Rolling Stones material like Paint It Black for their new show, Road to Nowhere....

The downside -- age may be getting to them, certain health concerns certainly affects their director.

"Touring with them can be terrifying," says Cilman

Thoughts on "Reality Theatre"

2005-11-21T05:05:00.000-06:00

The trend of reality TV, I think, has spawned a new cycle of what I will call, for the purposes of this article, "reality theatre."

People having dinner onstage as a family is the most avant gard I suppose -- and gimmicky -- appearing onstage in New York as I recall, and then is a whole slew of nostalgia-drippers like my own beloved HIGH SCHOOL REUNION at the Des Moines Playhouse, which is slated to return in early 2006.

Also paying homage to "Tony 'n' Tina's Wedding," is Minnesota's own "The Awesome 80s Prom," as even a musical based on the spelling bee.

With this in mind, I recently proposed hosting improv games to develop more shows, for instance:

** "Getting Luka Laid" (where the goal IS to get the handsomely lethal -- or lethally handsome, your choice -- "foreign exchange student" as many phone numbers as possible. Extra credit if they are from girls!)

** "Nursing Home Fraternity Party" (where we alienate what is apparently the mainstay Playhouse demographic simply to find an audience that will get the one Glenn Miller reference I improvised.)

** "Brain Drain aGoGo" (where handsome ex-pats of Iowa fight for the right to return to the state that makes them smile by imparting intelligent, witty repartee in a classic game show format -- but are ultimately judged only by the quality of their lap dance for my character. Hey, even Nurse Tudor has needs.)

Reading about the Young @ Heart Chorus makes me thing that the nursing home idea wasn't as far fetched as one might think.

Living in Relative Fear

2005-11-21T04:59:00.000-06:00

Quickie: There was a shooter captured at the Tacoma Mall (Washington state) Sunday.

I was a worried since I have family in that area. At the end of the CBS News report the shooter's face was blurred, but it was clear he was wearing a tie.

Proof positive -- he's not from my family.

Moon Captured, Legendre Dogged (UPDATED)

2005-11-17T10:36:00.000-06:00

Killer and Kidnapper Martin Moon, one of two escapees from the Iowa State Penitentiary at Ft. Madison, was captured Thursday. Moon was captured near a state prison in Chester, Illinois.

Ironically, Chester, IL is the "hometown of Popeye."

Fellow escapee Robert Joseph Legendre was caught on Friday by a Missouri police dog.

Both of them apparently forgot to eat their Wheaties -- or in Moon's case, some spinach, and for Legegendre a nice milk bone.

MEOW.

Thoreau: Do not despair...

2005-11-12T02:48:00.000-06:00

Do not despair of life.
You have no doubt
force enough
to overcome your
obstacles.

Think of the fox prowling through wood and field
in a winter night for something to satisfy his hunger.

Notwithstanding cold and hounds and traps,
his race survives.
I do not believe any of them
ever committed suicide.
Henry David Thoreau

Body-Swaying Gizmo Puts Humans in Remote Control

2005-11-11T04:39:00.000-06:00

Check out this article.

Embracing World Book

2005-11-11T04:25:00.000-06:00

Ever since the internet came along, you really don't hear about encyclopedias anymore....let alone encylopaedias or micropedias or -- well, you see the pattern.

In my day (insert shaky, arthritic, wagging finger here), it was sign of class to own your own set of encyclopedias. Our set was quite out of date, but obtained through the thoughtfulness of a teacher who knew of a set headed for the dump. But they were well-used, and I was thankful.

In college, the array of choices was mind-boggling, including a set that revelled in its own details. It was a micropedia and somehow related to the macropedia. I could make neither heads nor tails of either. I finally learned to go back to the source, THE book, the book of our forefathers.

World Book.

Let me tell you. If it wasn't for such compendiums of knowledge, I would have never made it out of college. It's a very simple premise.

If it's not in World Book, it's not worth knowing.

Hey, I know my limitations AND I EMBRACE THEM.

Finally, a playmate for Harry Letterman

2005-11-11T04:20:00.000-06:00

Conan O'Brien's hitting the bottle again. The baby bottle.

The host of NBC's Late Night and his wife Liza Powel O'Brien have a new second child who was born Wednesday at 8:27 p.m. in New York City, weighing in at 8 pounds, 4 ounces.

Following a long tradition of "Names Other Babies Make Fun Of," their son is named Beckett O'Brien and joins sister Neve, born in 2003, as the apple of their parents' eyes.

O'Brien the elder will be taking over The Tonight Show when Jay Leno steps down in 2009.

Sarah Silverman: Comedians & the Craft

2005-11-09T01:59:00.000-06:00

"You can't defend your material. If other people want to, that's great, but comedy is subjective, and if someone doesn't think it's funny, they will find it offensive."

Read more about her in this New Yorker profile which explains why context is so important in her act & stage persona:

"She skewers hypocrisy and self-righteousness, but there are times when her narrative ingredients—rape, dead grandmothers—threaten to overwhelm the delicate balance of a joke..."

Sarah Silverman is a stand-up comedian and former writer and a featured player for the 1993-94 season of "Saturday Night Live." Her concert film,"Sarah Silverman: Jesus Is Magic" opens this week.

Ali LeRoi: Comedians & the Craft

2005-11-09T01:50:00.000-06:00

"The weird thing about being a comedian and having a comedian's mind is that you don't know why you see the world differently...A few of us are fortunate enough to understand that there's actually a way you can go make money and continue to be that person. Other people just have to shut up and behave themselves."

"There are people who want to be in front of the audience, you can't stop them from being in front of a crowd," LeRoi said. "And I enjoy it but I didn't need it. Some people need that sort of attention. Martin [Lawrence] needs it. Bernie Mac needs it. Chris Rock needs it.... I actually preferred and needed to be in control or have control over the product.... I'd rather be the David Kelley of comedy than Eddie Murphy. I'm more suited to it."

Ali LeRoi, currently head writer for UPN's "Everybody Hates Chris," has had a long association with Chris Rock in both film and television. LeRoi is a co-founder Chicago's sketch group Mary Wong and former stand-up comedian. LeRoi won Emmy and Cable ACE Awards for Outstanding Writing for a Variety or Music Show for "The Chris Rock Show," as well as being nominated for two additional Emmys. He was selected by Variety as one of the 50 Creative People To Watch.

Eagle Scout Elected New Mayor of Roland

2005-11-09T01:38:00.000-06:00

Election results are in -- read about the 18-year-old Eagle Scout who won the race for mayor of Roland, Iowa.

Keep in mind my 16-year-old niece just moved there -- now I know the real reason why...

REBATES on COMPACT FLUORESCENT BULBS

2005-11-09T01:36:00.000-06:00

Here in Iowa, I've been hearing about the cost savings of compact fluorescent bulbs.

Apparently you can get them as a courtesy if you allow an energy audit -- but I got one at HyVee on sale for $2.99 with an onsite $2 rebate.

If you find an even better deal, let me know.

November is Caregivers Month

2005-11-08T14:07:00.000-06:00

Did you know that President Bush has signed a proclamation declaring November as Caregivers Month?

"Every day, family caregivers sacrifice their own needs to offer their loved ones the opportunity to live with dignity and independence in familiar surroundings. Their love, selflessness, and devotion inspire us all and demonstrate the compassionate spirit of America...."

If you're not a caregiver now, you will be -- and undoubtedly someone else is already. Give them a hug and a shoulder to lean on.

Leukemia & Lymphoma Society

2005-11-08T13:54:00.000-06:00

Help support Toni's Team in Training by donating to The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society before December 15.

Learn more about one of the Patient Honorees

SAUERKRAUT: NEW "SUPERFOOD?"

2005-11-07T22:53:00.000-06:00

There's an international buzz around that lovely unassuming dish made of fermented cabbage and how it affects avian or bird flu.

Scientists at Seoul National University in South Korea fed an extract of kimchi, a spicy Korean variant of sauerkraut, to 13 chickens infected with avian flu, and a week later, 11 of the birds started to recover, according to a report by the BBC Network.

Another recently released study at the University of New Mexico indicates that sauerkraut may reduce the risk of breast cancer by up to 74 percent.

AND Wisconsin is really psyched -- apparently, they've got loads of the stuff! They've also known of the food's healing qualities for a long time now, or as one Wisconsin local put it,

"Rotten old cabbage will kill everything."

Calling it a "superfood," Chris Smith, vice president for marketing for the Fremont Company, makers of Frank's Quality Kraut points out,

"A one-cup serving of sauerkraut provides a good amount of the daily value of vitamins C and K, and is high in antioxidants."

Both kimchi and traditional sauerkraut are high in lactic acid bacteria.
Another pro: You can make your own.
Con: Sodium content is pretty high.

A little birdie told me. No? Okay --
ORIGINAL SOURCE: local NBC affiliate news broadcast 11/7 WHO-TV Des Moines

WHITE SOX WIN

2005-10-27T06:19:00.000-05:00

Somewhere Patsy is smiling.....

"I hope this is not a dream," said owner Jerry Reinsdorf.

Mystery Man: Who Is This? with hints!

2005-10-26T16:29:00.000-05:00

Bette Midler on Martha Talk Show Friday

2005-10-26T15:56:00.000-05:00

Bette Midler will also be appearing on the daily talk show "Martha" this Friday, October 28.

(Lookout Bette, Martha's going to be teaching you how to carve a pumpkin -- wasn't too long ago she wasn't allowed a shiv!)

Letterman Tonight: BETTE ON IT

2005-10-26T09:11:00.000-05:00

Famed songstress Bette Midler will be on tonight's CBS show LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN. Undoubtedly, the show will be a hit and a miss -- though the "miss" is only the canon of Miss Peggy Lee.

You see, Midler's promoting Bette Midler Sings The Peggy Lee Songbook DualDisc and CD which came out Tuesday.

She knows that "Happiness is a Thing Called...." Manilow
since this recording came about as a result of another of his dreams -- and hot on the heels of their Rosemary Clooney tribute album. As noted on the liner notes, he is a dear friend, as well as her former musical director before he hit it big. He sings with her on "I Love Being Here With You," just as he revived Clooney and Bing Crosby's "Slow Boat to China" previously.

I KNOW A LITTLE BIT, ABOUT A LOT THINGS....
(BUT I DON'T KNOW ENOUGH ABOUT YOU)
This is just one of the songs that would have been perfect for Bette but is overlooked in this production -- according to the listing on Amazon.com, there are only ten songs. Frankly, I am shocked. I know that these efforts are being compared to Ella Fitzgerald's songbook series, but she featured the works of composers not the artists themselves, I believe.

As much as I love Midler and can vouch she has an electrifying live show and the energy of a woman half her ageless self, this album just makes me seek out the original.

I've been listening to my Peggy Lee tapes to hear her oh so unique colorings of each word since my vocal coach recommended her circa 1987. Otherwise, I might never have gotten past her cool Nordic exterior and seemingly Botox physical delivery. Ironically, I've never been much for her more cabaret styled pieces like "Is That All There Is," and to me, "Fever" never went anywhere...but I'll sing either one of those! And there are so many more songs to choose from. Miss Lee is cool.

So it was with trepidation that I started to study her style way back when. I learned that there is so much more to her. I even used her "It's A Good Day" for background music in my photography exhibit/college final and of course "He's A Tramp" is a classic I grew up with. I am fascinated with her history as a song writer and the wit behind songs like "Manana" and "Everything Is Moving Too Fast."

But for all my complaints, at least Midler is talented. Don't get me started on the travesty that is the Rod Stewart Songbook series. How desparate are you people? Dump him and go to "By Myself: The Songs of Judy Garland" by Linda Eder.

Or write me for more suggestions.

Or call me and I'll come over and do a personalized set!

For Pete's sake, he may be sexy, but he's no song stylist -- just trying to shore up his retirment fund, I'm betting....

IS THAT ALL THERE IS...
Heck, no --- See what the Lee's fans think
http://www.peggylee.com/pegleebb/read.php?f=3&i=4941&t=4941

CIA LEAK: If there is a website....

2005-10-26T08:26:00.000-05:00

The CIA "leak case" investigation should be ending soon. Some say the website (linked in headline) is proof.

Let's see: "If there is a website,
you must
indict."

Sound familiar?

Basically, everyone believed Bush and Colin Powell who said a war with Iraq was needed. They had credible intelligence and they showed it. Iraq was a danger full of the famed "weapons of mass destruction."

Joe Wilson disagreed publicly, embarrassing the Bush administration an weakening its argument by stating the Bush administration had "twisted intelligence to justify the invasion of Iraq." (NOTE: No weapons of mass destruction were found.) To damage Wilson, word was leaked that his wife Valerie Plame was actually a CIA agent.

Who leaked this information?
1) I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby, Vice President Dick Cheney's chief of staff,
or
2) presidential political adviser Karl Rove
3) or Vice President Cheney himself.....

And was national security -- the ulitimate goal, afterall -- damaged in the process? Was Plame's identity a secret? If one of these fellows disclosed her identity but did not know it was a secret, does that matter? Did the disclosure matter if she was not "undercover?"

TWIST
George H.W. Bush said when he was head of CIA that this action is treason.
“So I think that Rove and Libby will be executed.” Al Franken

WHO IS JOE WILSON
Former Ambassador Joseph C. Wilson had traveled to Niger in a CIA-sponsored trip to check out allegations that Iraqi officials sought to purchase nuclear weapons materials there. Wilson wrote up his findings in a Times op-ed titled "What I Didn't Find in Africa." SOURCE